Life Is A Game
This is how you can win more, and lose better.
Your life isn’t all that different from a video game.
You start at level 0 with nothing.
You learn a bunch of survival skills as you navigate the deck of cards you’ve been dealt, fight monsters, smash through obstacles and jump to the next level, and the next, and the next after that.
Each stage gets progressively more complex and difficult, and you have no choice but to level up your skills and resources each time you want to climb the ladder.
But unlike a game, life isn’t so straightforward…or fair.
In fact, playing to win at the game of life can be downright confusing.
If you’re reading this, I’ll assume that you have at least a couple of decades under your belt.
With that established, here are a few tweaks that can help you start winning more if you’ve found yourself drifting off-course lately.
1. Decide what winning means to you
Playing the big game doesn’t mean you’ll win it.
In fact, the longer you live, you’ll realize that there are an infinite number of sub-games to be played in addition to the big one, and just one of you.
This means that you’ll probably have to make some hard decisions: Which ones to play hard at (if at all), and which ones to leave alone?
For most people, the winning will look something like this:
A family of your own
Buy a home
A successful career in (fill in the blank)
Make lots of money
Find your purpose in life
Travel the world
This list can go on indefinitely, and you’ll have to figure out what you want to keep, and what to cut.
2. Fix what’s broken
If some things in your life aren’t working very well, chances are, bits and pieces of them are broken.
If you don’t fix them — face the dysfunction, process the trauma, have the hard conversations, heal your heart — your life will stay broken, and you may never be able to grow enough to progress to the next level.
3. Get with reality
But of course, in order to fix what’s broken, you have to accept that they are broken.
Nothing keeps you in denial more than subscribing to the illusion that everything will be fine if you leave them alone.
All you have to do is avoid, side-step and close one or both eyes so you don’t see what’s really going on because it’s just easier that way.
Doing the hard things gets gritty, uncomfortable and painful, so you put them off for as long as you can, until you can no longer bear the pain of doing nothing.
4. Invite beauty into your life
Reality gets ugly.
Really ugly.
Beauty is a respite from the harshness of life, a warm bath for the soul, a soothing breeze for the senses.
Being with or in beauty is a necessary time-out from the game, especially if you’re worn out from going at it hard.
You don’t have to go to great lengths or spend a fortune to invite grace and refinement into your life — time spent in nature, creating a minimalist living space or even making something with your own hands will check the beauty box.
If you don’t fill your cup, you’ll miss out on restoring your ability to play from a position of serenity and strength.
5. Find out what you don’t want
Before you jump into any game, you’ll need to know the rules.
Once you’ve sorted out what you can and cannot do, the process of narrowing down your to-dos can then be sped up considerably by figuring out what you don’t want to do.
A big part of getting to know what you don’t want is realizing that some games aren’t just energy suckers — they’re downright unnecessary.
Think of this as a crucial step in developing the laser-sharp focus you’ll need to play not just a good game, but to play it exceptionally well in the areas you want to win at.
The more focused you are, the more likely you’ll be to triumph.
6. Make peace with losing
You’ll win some, you’ll lose some — this is guaranteed and is how life works.
No one wins at everything, and no one loses every single game, unless they put in zero effort one hundred percent of the time.
And while it’s easy to soak in the accolades and pat yourself on the back when you win, handling your losses with poise and graciousness isn’t always the easiest thing to do.
Losing sucks, but the trick to losing like a champ is to make friends with acceptance.
Accepting that things can go either way every time you step into the ring will help keep your suffering — and ego — in check.
And just as well.
After all, where’s the fun and magic in winning all the time?
🎮 SPEAKING OF GAMES…
This newsletter is an extension of an article that I wrote about the essentials of winning at the game of being human, which you can read here.
Also … yes, I’ve been out of your inbox for a good year and a half, and I’ve missed writing to you.
I got busy juggling the game of my life, and let’s just say that things got somewhat challenging.
Long story short: I survived and am now (thankfully) back in my happy place — writing for you.
If you signed up for my newsletter to get a dose of my free calm-living resources recently, welcome!
I hope you stick around because there’s more good stuff to come.
And if you’ve been with me for awhile now, it’s good to see you again :)
-Michele
💌 OUT OF THE INBOX
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