How To Find Meaning In Times Of Darkness
“Has all this suffering, this dying around us, a meaning?”
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: The last of human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
-Viktor E. Frankl
The world is a rocky, traumatic place right now.
Wait. That’s not 100% correct. The truth is, it always has been.
If we’ve been lucky enough, perhaps life hasn’t been as rocky in our corner of the world or in our lifetime.
But even then, almost no one is lucky enough to escape the personal turmoil and anguish that is part of the human condition.
You will be lied to.
You may be used and stepped on.
You will lose a parent.
You might lose a child.
You will lose friends.
You might have to go through trauma that others will never understand.
You may go through life feeling inexplicably lonely the entire time.
You may have to watch your career go up in smoke.
You might fall sick or experience a debilitating injury.
Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people every single day, and through it all, we try to make sense of everything that happens to and around us.
We try to find meaning in everything we see, hear and experience.
It’s easier to do this for the good than it is for the bad.
Sometimes, we’re tempted to give up hope of finding any meaning at all.
But the thing is, I don’t want to.
And I don’t want you to either.
If there’s no meaning to anything we do and experience, then what’s left?
Finding Light In Desolation
In Holocaust survivor Viktor E. Frankl’s book Man’s Search For Meaning, he spoke about how despite the inhumane circumstances he and his fellow prisoners found themselves in, and the suffering they had to endure, the few who lived and subsequently thrived after leaving the concentration camps had these traits in common:
An acceptance of suffering
“Suffering is an ineradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death, life cannot be complete”, said Frankl.
It is this pain that gives a person the opportunity to add a deeper meaning to their life — whether to live on bravely, unselfishly and with dignity, or to fall into a bitter spiral of self-preservation that makes them more primitive animal than human.
A ‘why’
Frankl was a believer in these words of German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche: “He who has a ‘why’ to live for can bear with almost any ‘how’”.
When faced with prisoners whose strength to live was fading away, Frankl and his comrades would take the opportunity to give them their why for their lives.
This helped strengthen them to bear the unimaginable how of their existence in the concentration camps.
This one small act helped keep them alive and rebuild their lives long after they left the camps.
Hope
Frankl, whose parents, brother and pregnant wife were killed in concentration camps, theorized that for most of the prisoners, the losses they had suffered: Health, family, happiness, professional abilities, fortune and position in society — were all things that could be achieved again or restored.
As long as they were still alive, they had reason to hope for a future of their making and whatever they had gone through could still be an asset to them in the future.
Resilience
Frankl acknowledged that their chances of survival were small, but repeatedly made it clear to everyone around him that he had no intention of losing hope and giving up, and wanted the same for his friends.
He wanted their sacrifices, pain and suffering to have the deepest significance despite being in what seemed like a hopeless situation.
He lived by the Nietzsche conviction “that which does not kill me, makes me stronger”, and helped his friends nurture the same mindset.
The ability to reframe
When faced with a hopeless situation, you are challenged to change yourself, wrote Frankl.
When you are able to reframe a situation and find the strength to turn a personal tragedy into a triumph, you give your suffering purpose and meaning.
While his friends were wondering if they would live and even as Frankl descended into moments where it seemed as if he wouldn’t survive, he thought to himself: “Has all this suffering, this dying around us, a meaning?”
If not, he concluded, then there is no meaning to survival, for a life whose meaning depends on luck and whether one escapes or not, ultimately wouldn’t be worth living at all.
✨ Powered By Purpose
While re-reading Man’s Search For Meaning during a particularly low moment, I was reminded that when I’m driven by purpose, I’ll be more likely to make choices that are based on what my future self wants, instead of allowing my past to define me or hold me hostage.
Ultimately, you and I become what we believe.
Whatever your purpose is, I hope you’ll find it and let it drive you to the future of your dreams
-Michele
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